5:06 PM ●

Monday, September 29, 2008
a dream:
when things just go wrong and you can't get enough.
when you just go off the track, away, far, away.

like a bird.
i cried.
and cried.
things couldn't get worse.
i stood so up high, about to fall.
love.
such a powerful emotion.
a choking emotion.
an emotion that could kill, that can care.
an emotion that could murder, that can heal.
it came across me, perhaps there was a way out of this
terrible binding of hate wrapped around me.
like a rippling wave, spreading across this terrible terrible world.
perhaps love could.
perhaps love.

a thought:
do you think perhaps you could help me out of this deep deep hole? dug in my heart?
i hole, filled with growing hate?
could you help me?
love me?
save me?
control. i don't much left.
i'm about to break.
fragile.
so fragile.
it is so hard, every day, to look at you,
and know you look back with hate.
hate.

yes, the one that is filling my heart,
growing, oh yes, growing oh so big.

another dream:
a t-rex!
i shouted.
a T-REX?
YES.
we ran, we jumped into the car. we drove off.
we survived this time.
what about the next?

a vision:
you came to me.
begging forgiveness.
i looked at you, why?
for what are you crying and screaming and tearing your hair?
you kept on saying, 'sorry, i'm so sorry.'
i questioned you,scolded you, screamed at you.
but you just repeated those same words.
sorry sorry sorry.
i laughed a maniacal laugh.
what is it?
my parents are dead?
my friends are gone?
i'm the only survivor?
WHAT???
you smiled, and cried and nodded.
i stared at you, and i came crashing down onto my knees.
no, no, no.
it couldn't be.

dead, their dead.
i rocked myself, crying, to sleep.
it couldn't be.


a story:
once upon a time, there was a princess.
her name was Christina Charles Krone.
oh, yes, that was her name.
she loved a prince and they got married and they lived happily ever after.
XX the end XX

a lover's story:
sometimes, love just wasn't enough to hold on to a person.
sometimes, it just wasn't strong enough.
sometimes, i wondered, why love?
sometimes, i broke down and cried too many a time, why love?
i am lying on the floor, crying. rolling on the floor.
i am so terrified, and so surprised, and so...sad.
no, devastated, miserable, not sad.
i don't believe it.
no i don't.
it obviously is a joke.
he couldn't be.
no.
just a joke.
a joke
ajoke.
i chanted and chanted.
but it couldn't save anybody.
why love?


a whim:
i think i should cheat.
haha.
no, you shouldn't.
whatever.
i think i should cry and laugh.
i wonder how that feels.
i think i should cut and bleed.
i wonder how that feels.


a quote:
to set a bird free and to see it fly, is that not enough?
Must you catch it and see it struggle, than tell it that
it was you who set it free from its cage?

another quote:
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
-Ingrid Bergman

and another:
The Eskimo has fifty-two names for snow because it is important to them; there ought to be as many for love.
-Margaret Atwood

and another:
In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.
-Erich Fromm

and another:
Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason.
-Novalis

and another:
Poetry is the rhythmical creation of beauty in words.
-Edgar Allan Poe

poetry:
love
love, is how you live your life, the essence of life,
every breath you breathe, is love,
love for yourself,
every bitter kiss,
is an embrace of the love you have for him,
life cannot go on without love,
and so, without love, there will be no life.
so if love is not there, what is the point of living?
and so in turn, love&life is lost,
gone, disappeared.
for good.

intimacy
a gentle kiss on the lips,
the hair, the crown.
a touch of the cheek,
the arms, the waist.
memorisation of the body of your love.
a caress, on the small of her back,
a sweet breath, a jerk,
the thumping or a heart.

grace:
HELLO MELODY.
HOW ARE YOU?
I'M FINE.
HAHAHHA.
DO YOU KNOW WHO INVENTED CURRY?
AND PANDAN BREAD.
AND MY SCHOOL HAS HOT GUYS.
AREN'T YOU JEALOUS.
DO NOT REPLY.
TYVM (:
ok you can continue your story about intimacy.
goodnight! :D

the slight curve, the twisted wrist.
memorise,memorise,memorise.

eyes
they were beautiful,
a shade of a colour not of this world,
close to hazel, a touch of silver,
a flash of the most brilliant blue,
waves of pink and purple,
almost a rainbow, but yet,
not quite.
they were the windows to her soul.

xxxxxx

( Run to the city. )